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Cyclists

Discussion in 'Rants & Raves' started by Gankmasterflex, Feb 24, 2014.

  1. Gankmasterflex

    Gankmasterflex

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    Now if you ride a motorbike in London you can't have failed to notice them there really is all sorts - the lycra wearing bum boys, the brokers who think their blackberry is more important than the road, the students, the old galoppies and so on.

    Ok so what I did this morning was a little naughty but when cagers leave you no room to filter bikers always find another way around and that is what I did near tower hill this morning. In order to get to the front of the lights I had to quickly jump into the cycle lane to clear the last two cars who were so close you couldn't get a pube between their wing mirrors. So I cleared the end of the cycle lane and I am waiting at the lights when I noticed a queue of bikers forming behind me then here comes the hero...

    Some old boy who looked like his face had imploded and then melted on a boris Barclay bike suddenly hauls it up off the road and begins walking down the pavement with it. On his way I could see in my mirrors that he was saying something to each of the bikers in the queue behind me then he appeared next to me. Now his mouth was moving and although I could hear what he was saying I determined that he had nothing interesting to say and was saying it far too loudly. So I motioned to my ears as if to say I couldn't hear him he then leaned in and shouted at me "This lane is for bicycles only you idiots can't be in this lane!!!!"

    I recoiled for a moment and then shouted back "I'M SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF YOUR VAGINA!!" and seeing the lights go disco I hit the clutch hit the gear hit the gas and I was gone. I can say that my words have to have sunk home because in the split second before I left I saw all of the wrinkles in his face disappear. Now I have always been brought up to respect my elders but to be fair I wasn't actually in the cycle lane once I reached the lights the other bikers in the queue behind me were but I guess he thought I'll have a go at them all.

    Was a great start to my day because I rode off pissing myself laughing....
     
  2. I really wish that I never have the need to commute in London, sounds like hell. Although the way you explain cracks me up.

    :D
     
  3. StephenP

    StephenP

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    Haha... shame you didn't pop a wheelie to go with it all.
     
  4. Gankmasterflex

    Gankmasterflex

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    London is a f'in zoo dude but if you survive riding around up here it can be a lot of fun you will see it all I even saw two traffic wardens on scooters chasing after a cabbie on Friday to give him a ticket. Also in the summer it's nice especially on a breezy day if you catch my drift ;)
     
  5. Do you know what? I think this is your best line yet.

    Kudos.
     
  6. Gankmasterflex

    Gankmasterflex

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  7. iceman

    iceman

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    He was probably more pissed of he couldn't get to the front to jump the lights.

    Reading this made me chuckle, it's like war between cyclists and motorbikes up there.. makes me miss the commute... Until I remember the vast number of near misses on a daily basis!
     
  8. Gankmasterflex

    Gankmasterflex

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    Yeah the war rages on in winter it slacks off a bit as not many of them take to the roads but in the summer it's swarming with the sods.
     
  9. Edski675

    Edski675 Administrator Staff Member

    As a student in Manchester, bike was the only affordable way to get around, and when I returned to London for a post-grad year (1986) I simply carried on as I did in Manchester, but not for long… I decided that I did want to live to see age 30…. I rode my bke from where I was living (Eltham, SE9) to Chancery Lane and it was horrible… it lasted a week :roll:
     
  10. Man i have just opened this post up and almost spat my Tea out with the

    "I'M SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF YOUR VAGINA!!"

    Quote....

    Awsome man awsome :D :twisted:
     
  11. Gankmasterflex

    Gankmasterflex

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    :lol: I aim to please.

    Don't get me wrong Ed I do feel sorry for cyclists it's bad enough for bikers around London so must be twice as harsh for them but I think in today's modern age there just isn't room for them on the roads any more. Even Bellend Boris has built Cycle super highways as he calls them and yet cyclist still manage to get run over on them.
     
  12. With the greatest of respect Gank :lol: Bullshit !!! people need to learn its not all about them and cyclist have as much right on the road as other road users. People need to drive appropriately to accommodate this.

    Also cyclists should obey the rules of the road !!!

    AND !!! the highways agency should not build cycle ways that at best are useless and at worst plain dangerous !!!
     
  13. Red675

    Red675

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    I nearly smidsy’d a cyclist in epping as I was doing a u-ey in heavy traffic last week.

    He was tear-arsing down the middle of the high street between both sets of traffic and as I pulled out to jopin the other side, saw him at the very last second.

    I said “you’ve got to be kidding me?” to him and he told me to go fuck myself!! :lol:

    Sorry no sympathy for any of them anymore and I hope that particular fat prick’s lying in a kerbside somewhere.



    (i am trying to be more understanding of other road users honest!!!)
     
  14. Gankmasterflex

    Gankmasterflex

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    Not true if it doesn't have an engine it doesn't belong on the road :twisted: :lol:

    If cyclists want respect on the road then they should pay for it's upkeep and if cyclists were charged road tax I wonder how many of them would actually be on the road then? Also would be nice to see them actually obey the laws of the road and get stung with 3 points if they run red lights as they often frequently do in London.
     
  15. In that case we should remove band A cars from the road too as they don't pay road Vehicle Excise Duty either.

    I agree with you on the red light running !!!

    Cyclists are just trying to do the same as bikers, stay alive !!!
     
  16. D41

    D41

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    How does that work regarding road tax??

    I don't see pedestrians getting charged for when they cross the street, so why cyclists??

    Comparative to their size, motorbikes are not very environmentally friendly....not that I'm a tree-hugging hippy or nowt, just pointing out the facts. Bicycles have zero impact on emissions and on the state of the roads, and cyclists as a whole represent the most vunerable group of road users out there.....you said yourself that the actions of a few car drivers 'forced' you to take matters into your own hands, why should a cyclist be any different?

    Plus, wearing Lycra is cool, so there!
     
  17. I always think its funny when people complain about other road users breaking the rules, if your squeaky clean and never break any laws that fair enough

    but lets face none of us are
     
  18. Red675

    Red675

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    i never ghet this arguement - maybe im just being thick (again etc..)

    You don’t see many 2 mile tailbacks on a Sunday morning (or any other morning) of cars waiting to overtake pedestrians?
     
  19. Red675

    Red675

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    none of us are squeaky clean no, but i like to think i have a bit of common courtesy to other road users about me when im on the road
     
  20. Red675

    Red675

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    dont forget D, your roads are a LOT wider and accomodating to all sorts of vehicles than our shitty little roads over here
     

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