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Help: problematic people in the workplace

Discussion in 'Rants & Raves' started by Red675, Jan 14, 2015.

  1. Red675


    Thread Starter

    Location: Angola
    How do you deal with someone you really cant stand at work that you have no way of escaping?

    I’ve worked where i do now (in an office environment) for almost 2 years and the first year I really enjoyed. I was left to my own devices, got my job done and went home feeling like I was pretty lucky to find a job I enjoyed.

    About a year ago a lady (35-40ish, 2 kids, a nanny and one poor fucker of a husband) started in the accounts team as a financial analyst or some such turgid shite – totally unrelated to my job but sat next to me at work all the same and I've now got to the point where I absolutely can’t stand her and I’m now struggling to even perform the normal pleasantries.

    She’s the most STUCK UP, snobby, needy, attention seeking twat you could ever wish to meet, feels like she can poke her nose into my job somehow and a gossip and a snitch to boot – a generally untrustworthy and unlikeable person and the thing is, she seems to forget that I’m sat here listening to what she’s up to. I see it all.

    She also speaks to people like an absolute piece of shit when she’s having an off day and when she spoke to me like it a few weeks back I decided that was the end of any perceived working “friendship” as id never let anyone get away with the way she spoke to me without responding – it literally took all of my powers of biting my tongue for me not to explode and tell her exactly what I thought of her. I still wish I had.

    I started looking for another job in the new year as I know in the past i've not dealt with these situations very well and ended up damaging my career but I know if I get one it’ll be back up in London - something i’ve tried to avoid like the plague and you think why should I suffer cos of her?

    If I say anything to my boss, it’ll look like i'm unable to deal with what seems a pretty basic situation and it’ll create an even worse atmosphere but the crux of the matter is I want to strangle the uppity little gossip spreading stuck up twatbag til she’s blue in the face.

    Help!!! (and please dont tell me to grass her up to someone cos its something i would never even contemplate)
  2. Is there anywhere you can move to?
    If it's at the point where you're looking for a new job, just say to whoever "Hey... can I move to this desk? I just don't like <whoever> and I can work better somewhere else."

    or can you put headphones in? even if you're only pretending to be listening to something.
  3. Ntecuk


    Location: Braintree
    Poison her coffee.
  4. Legacey

    Legacey Moderator Staff Member

    Location: Leicestershire
    I used to take my iPod to work when I was in the office. Gobby cow in the next room but the door was always open so you could hear her bitching
  5. One of your basic rights in the workplace is to be spoken to appropriately, nobody on this earth could pay me enough to be spoken to like shit, you're not the one in the wrong here. If you address it one-on-one with her it obviously sounds like a recipe for confrontation. You need to use the chain of command my friend and sort it out. It's not good for your health, trust me I ride like 'The Doctor' (I've changed that phrase slightly and I like it haha)
    I'm not judging you, and not everybody can. But can't you be equally as much of a twat? Or don't you want to go down that road?
  6. Red675


    Thread Starter

    Location: Angola
    That’s the one legs. It’s not just that but when people come to speak to ME, she always, without fail buts in and makes it relevant to her and her world and I’m left gasping for air as she takes over any conversation. She’s like a cross between the worst teachers pet you ever came across at school and the biggest gossip/shit stirrer you’ve ever come across in the work place (and ive come across my fair share down the years!).

    You should hear the way she speaks to her husband on the phone. She'll phone him with the sole intention of having a row (at least once a day without fail) and speak to him like an absolute piece of shit until one or the other or both of them put the phone down on each other. This is in an open plan office environment. Honestly it makes me CRINGE.

    She'll then carry on like nothings happened and appear all angelic to anyone who hasnt witnessed it.

    I sound like a right tart now dont i :D fuck sake
  7. Red675


    Thread Starter

    Location: Angola

    oh i can be 10 times the twat she can be if i wanted to mate but as i said thats got me in trouble before and i need to avoid that at all costs
  8. edd1e


    Shit in her lunch box, its the only way.
  9. Can you not put a grievance in against her. Maybe others will back it up.
  10. Edski675

    Edski675 Administrator Staff Member

    I'd ask to move desk. Do you need to give a reason? if you do, then say that her presence is not conducive to maximising productivity, and decline to give details. Would your boss really think the worse of you for that?

    When I left school I used to work for Barclays. I hated the supervisor. She insisted that I made her tea. It got to the point where I flatly refused, she complaned about me, the spineless assistant manager asked me to make the tea just to keep the peace, so I did and I put 6 shoogs in it. I left shortly later.
  11. I know how you feel mate, we had one in here and it used to be my line manager as well.

    Thought he was the best thing since sliced bread and knew everything about anything, thing is he used to be very pushy and wanting attention, till one day he butted in to a conversation that he didn't understand and so I let him drivel on till the person that had originally tried to ask me for some information turned his back on the Manager and ignored him, after that i was sent emails and had telephone coversations with people so that they didnt have to deal with the complete knob head.

    Best thing to do is actually (and i know you don’t like it) is to speak to your Management and tell them that you are finding it difficult as she is bringing her personal life into the office and its off putting, remember that HR should treat men and women the same nowadays and that includes the way that Men are treated in the workplace.

    Loosing your Cool only aids ass holes in the long run and tbh i know your not one of them :D

    Right on Brother!!!! :eek: :shock: :geek:
  12. I must say, I've encountered this a few times (although not always in the workplace so it could be dodgy ground), but I tend to be very good at the old "passive aggressive"ness.

    You are very lucky here that this person isn't your superior, as is normally the case, so you can get away with pissing this person off to the max, but in a way that wont get you in trouble.

    For example, I would literally ignore her ALL the time, and anything I do say would be polite, but rude. When she says Hi in the morning, I would return with "no thank you" or nothing at all, possibly a very awkward look of "who the fuck are you". Offer everyone around you coffees, and then not her, when she says something, say "excuse me, but I didn't offer you a coffee. Thanks".

    It's the "polite fuck off" mentality that I would go with. Always try to use as polite language as you can, but use words that clearly are not being very nice to that particular situation.

    When she starts interrupting your conversations, just interrupt her and say "Excuse me there *Jennifer*, however this is a private conversation that doesn't involve you at all, please could you leave us alone". Possibly include "this conversation is out of your work area" (implies shes fucking stupid really). Try this a few times and see what she does. She'll probably just scoff and leave you to it, and then have a go at you when the bloke leaves. Just respond to her with polite questions of why she thinks she has any right to join your conversations uninvited. I would make it very clear that i very disliked her, and can outsmart her and make her feel like shit any time she talks to me, that she will just stop, or complain herself, which will be the opposite of you complaining and make you look bad. Just try and keep cool, smile, be polite, but always put her down cleverly and she'll soon get very pissed off.

    I would definitely ask your boss to move to a different desk, and possibly just say the reason is that your particular desk seems to be a very loud environment where lots of phone calls and gossip (blame her, but maybe just say this girl likes to make personal phone calls, possibly in her break times, but its at her desk and not during your break times, so it distracts you) occurs, and if possible please, could you try and find a quieter corner where you feel you work far better.

    It's shit that this woman is making you consider leaving your job....
  13. Red675


    Thread Starter

    Location: Angola
    cheers all, at the very worst you've made me do is smile about the situation :)
  14. Have a quiet "off the record" chat with your boss, see if there's anything they can do. Maybe put the feelers out amongst your colleagues, see whether they agree with you, would add weight to your issue.
  15. That'll do! [THUMBS UP SIGN]
    Don't be letting it get you down, leave it at work... I know it's not as easy as that but don't let it knock on.
  16. I'm with Ed and operation desk move. Find a reason that you'd be more productive etc if you were to sit near 'that' team or in the 'other' area.

    Failing that, wait for to go a walking and spit in her tea!
  17. Mrs T+T

    Mrs T+T

    Location: Northampton
    Firstly, despite our reputation, that this woman is not helping to get rid of, not all of us accountants are like that I promise :) some of us are even slightly cool...!

    Secondly, I think it's fair to say we have all had someone like that either in our teams or nearby, but it does sounds pretty unbearable!

    As hard as it is, definitely don't get dragged down to her level! I'm sure everyone else in the office is thinking the same about her and she certainly won't be going anywhere in her career!

    I would stay civil to her (if possible) and to echo the others, speak to your boss about a move. If other people are coming over to your desk, is there a team that you work closely with that you could benefit from being with? Possibly pitch it as more of an opportunity than a problem! That way you don't even have to mention her!

    Hope things work themselves out for you!! Let us know!!
  18. Edski675

    Edski675 Administrator Staff Member

    If she becomes too much, just nip outside for a cigarette. Or nip to the gents and cheer yourself up that way :D
  19. D41


    Location: Orange, CA
    A thin bead of superglue gel along her windshield wiper blades/rubbers would do the trick for me.

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