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A Irish Joke

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by henrymc, Nov 20, 2009.

  1. henrymc

    henrymc

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    Best Irish Joke in a long Time !!!



    Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the
    night celebrating

    St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking
    anymore tonight, Paddy'.

    Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on
    his stool and steps off.

    He falls flat on his face. 'Shoite' he says and pulls himself up by the
    stool and dusts himself off.

    He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, 'Shoite,
    Shoite !' He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can
    just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.

    He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.

    He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels
    much better

    And takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

    Bi'Jesus.... I'm fockin' focked,' he says.

    He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door,
    hauls himself up the door frame,

    Opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and
    says 'No fockin' way'.

    He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to
    the bed'.

    He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says 'Fock
    it' and falls into bed.

    The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of
    coffee and says,

    'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'

    Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?'

    'Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.'
     
  2. superpete675

    superpete675

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  3. henrymc

    henrymc

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    Cheers Nige.
    I forgot to add that if anyone want to tell a joke in response and it involver race or religion it has to be your religion or your race you are joking about.
    That is good manners,
    Telling one about someone else's Religion or Nationality is not. :victory: :smileup:
     
  4. D41

    D41

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    Well now, - that's no fun, Henry...& where the hell do I stand?? - Irish parents, born in an English R.C.Convent/orphanage,raised to be Geordie & now a US Citizen...who the hell do I get to make fun of ???

    ...I don't think I like your methodology on this one, Henry. :? :? :? :? :?
     
  5. SV_Justin

    SV_Justin

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  6. henrymc

    henrymc

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    :clap: :clap: :clap:
     
  7. D41

    D41

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    Oh, - that one's easy!! - I'm funny just to look at!!
     
  8. henrymc

    henrymc

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    Darren, I got a answer to your dilemma about who you can take the piss out of :!: You say you are a US citizen :?: Does that mean you have a US passport :?: If so I think you know the answer and I think you can get some mileage out of that one as well unless its in the terms of your citizenship that you are forbidden to take the piss. By the way where in Ireland were your folks from.?
     
  9. D41

    D41

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    Still got my British Passport (can't use it though, CIS took my greencard when I took the oath)- which reminds me, I need to go to the Post Office & apply for my US passport. :idea:

    No idea where they were from - couldn't care less TBH.
     
  10. henrymc

    henrymc

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    OK Darren,
    Did not mean to pry.
     
  11. D41

    D41

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    Not at all, Henry. :D
     

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